journey to parenthood

No more feet! I’m having trouble comprehending the fact...

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 00:13:48 -0700

No more feet! I’m having trouble comprehending the fact that I won’t be seeing much of my feet anymore.

28 weeks and 3 days.

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 23:05:28 -0700

Well hello again, Tumblr! As some of you may know, we’re having a little girl! Her due date’s less than three months away and I’m terrified!!

I’m just starting to really show but people keep saying “you’re tiny!” For seven months pregnant, I guess I could be considered ‘tiny’ but I’m no expert.

The baby shower is set for April 7th and that’s ridiculously exciting! I can’t wait to get all the free stuff and spend time with all my girlfriends and just talk about babies! I’m so stoked!!!!

We’ve moved back to Oregon and Charlotte Jean, that’s our little blueberry’s name, is going to be born in the same hospital that my brother and sister were born in. It’s crazy to think that I’m having a kid where my mom had two kids. At least it’s crazy to me.

Our gender reveal video!! So exciting! <3

Tue, 15 Jan 2013 20:33:04 -0800

Our gender reveal video!! So exciting! <3

Photo

Tue, 15 Jan 2013 20:23:28 -0800

My little blueberry, my little sweetling! I am so proud and so...

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 19:17:13 -0800

My little blueberry, my little sweetling! I am so proud and so excited to be a mom! I love my baby so much already and seeing him/her on the monitor just flipping around and waving and being crazy just made me so happy! I cried and my hubs cried and it was just a beautiful moment. And I really don’t think anyone can understand just how beautiful until you experience it yourself.

10 weeks and 6 days.

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 03:47:45 -0800

We had our first appointment today! I’m definitely pregnant (even though I knew that, it feels better to have it confirmed by my doctor) and I will know just how healthy I am next week when I get the results from my lab work back. Tomorrow is our first ultrasound and I am beyond excited to hear the baby’s heartbeat. I think seeing and hearing the baby’s heartbeat might make it a little bit more real for me. Even though it’s real right now, it will just cement everything into place. And I can’t wait!

9 weeks.

Fri, 26 Oct 2012 01:26:11 -0700

Feeling like shit is normal lately. I’m always feeling sick, so it’s not a big deal. What I can’t get used to are my cravings. One minute I’m craving one thing and two seconds later, I’m craving something completely different. Of course I don’t ever have what I’m craving (except the salad I ate last night), so I’m left craving it for days on end. And when I finally get what I’m craving, eating it is the most difficult thing because my morning sickness and food aversion kicks in. So I cry and pout and give the food to my husband. Who is now eating more than I am. Which isn’t hard because I rarely eat anything. I’ll eat maybe twice a day, if I’m lucky. I sleep most of the day and rarely do anything else. You’d think I’d be on Tumblr all day, but no, I’m on Facebook playing Farmville 2 and Chef Ville and perusing Neopets and playing stupid games like I’m some sort of deranged 12 year old with too much time on my hands. Thanks to my irregular sleep schedule, I know have almost 400,000 Nepoints in the bank. Go me! My kids are going to be so proud when I tell them about this in twenty years.

We’re having someone move in with us to help us with rent. Since I’m not working, things have been really tight. And since I can’t be bothered to get off my lazy ass and sign up for WIC, we rarely have food. I’ll get around to it one day, I swear. Husband’s friend Raymond is moving into our spare room for $200 a month. It doesn’t sound like much but every little bit helps. Maybe now I can go to Oregon for Thanksgiving instead of staying here with distant family. Even though it would be nice to see my Aunt Jean and Uncle Scotty for a change. I never see them anymore and it drives me nuts. They’re not getting any younger and time is just flying by. But they do live something like 10 miles away so I have no way of getting to them.

Yesterday while cleaning up the spare room I found three dog sweaters. I have two Chihuahuas (both boys) who are constantly shivering because they’re either cold, excited, scared, hungry, have to pee, or are begging for something. Which is all the time. Anyway, Chester (the older of the two) loves his green sweatshirt with Argyle pocket and Abbott loves his little Martha Stewart sweater. Husband came home and started calling them “Christmas boys” because Chester’s is green and Abbott’s is red. If only I could find Abbott’s actual sweatshirt. Then they’d almost match. It’s around here somewhere, it’s just a matter of cleaning up enough to find it.

Today I actually accomplished something. I mopped the floor and finished cleaning the spare room. And I bought myself some packets of Ramen so I could satisfy my chicken Ramen and eggs craving. Halfway through my meal I started feeling sick. So now I’m eating it cold. I don’t even give a fuck. Being pregnant is awesome sometimes. But other times, I want to punch someone in the face.

Ohh the joys of impending motherhood.

8 weeks and 1 day.

Fri, 19 Oct 2012 21:03:24 -0700

How far along? 8 weeks and 1 day.
Total weight gain: Still not sure.
Maternity clothes? Not yet!
Stretch marks? None yet! Hoping I won’t be getting too many. Fingers crossed.
Sleep: All the time. Nothing gets done around the house.
Best moment this week: When I lay on my side, I can feel my ever-growing uterus. It’s really exciting because I just keep thinking, there’s a baby in there!
Miss Anything? Being able to eat what I want.
Movement: Nothing yet.
Food cravings: Taco Bell.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Everything it seems (chicken, pasta, crackers, sweets, etc).
Gender: N/A
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: Nausea, headaches, backaches, mood swings.
Belly Button in or out? In.
Wedding rings on or off? On.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Excited/nervous/frightened/happy.
Looking forward to: First OB appointment and hearing/seeing baby’s heartbeat.

7 Weeks and 6 Days

Wed, 17 Oct 2012 23:22:11 -0700

All I have to say is that my head is killing me. I can’t stop crying, my head is pounding, and my dogs are constantly in my face. Because I’m crying. Hubs is mad that I haven’t cleaned but I haven’t had energy to get out of bed. And our landlady cornered me while I was doing laundry today to bitch about the fact that our backyard is a mess and other stuff. Ugh. I just want to punch her in the face. Blahhh. Anyways, this is a short post because hubs should be back with the food momentarily, but I’m doing fine, baby’s fine. I’m going to schedule my ob appointment tomorrow (if I have the energy to get my ass out of bed), and hopefully go to the WIC office before end of business on Friday. Wish me luck!

My baby survey.

Wed, 10 Oct 2012 22:44:00 -0700

About the mommy!

Name: Kaitlynn
Hair color: Brown
Eye color: Blue-greyish
First child?: Yes

About the daddy!

Name: Robert
Hair color: Blond
Eye color: Blue
First child?: Yes

Finding out!

What day did you find out?: October 5, 2012

How did you feel when you found out?: Excited and terrified at the same time.

Who was with you?: Robert

Who was the first person you told?: Robert

About your parents!

How did your parents react?: Haven’t told them yet. But, my brothers are excited.
How did his parents react?: Well, they’re no longer with us so I hope their reactions in Heaven are good?

Are they helping with baby names?: No

Have they bought anything for the baby yet?: Nope, but my brother’s girlfriend is already thinking of gifts for her little niece or nephew.

Do they call to check on you?: Nope.

About the pregnancy!

When was is your first appointment?: No idea.

When is your due date?: May 30, 2013

How far along are you?: 6 weeks and 6 days.

Have you had any ultrasounds?: Not yet! Excited for the first one.

Have you heard the heartbeat?: No not yet.

What was the heartbeat?: —

Sex of the baby!

Are you finding out the sex or waiting until birth? Finding out.

What do you want?: At first I wanted a boy because I wanted the children that come after our first to have an older brother to protect them. Now, I want a little girl that I can dress up and all that. And most of my friends have boys so it would be nice to have a girl to break the trend, I guess. But I’m hoping for healthy no matter what the sex.

What does the daddy want?: A healthy baby.

Have you had your big ultrasound yet?: Nope not yet

If so, what are you having?: —

Are you & daddy happy with what you are having?: We will be no matter what

About the birth!

Who is going to be with you?: Robert, my mom (maybe), my grandma (maybe), my best friend(s), my aunt, and maybe my sister.

Are you going to videotape it?: Maybe we’ll have a video of just reactions or whatever. No video of the ACTUAL birth because that’s just horrifying, I think.

Natural or medicated?: I haven’t decided. I’m a wuss when it comes to pain so as much as I want a natural birth, in the end it might be an epidural for me. We’ll see.

Do you think you will need a c-section?: Fack, I hope not.

Will you cry with you hold your baby for the first time?: Yes. I will sob and sob and sob and just look at that baby’s perfect face and just be crying the whole time.

Do you think the daddy will cry?: It’s definitely possible.

Do you know what you will say to the baby when you first hold him/her? I’ll probably gush about how precious the baby is. And if I’m all drugged up I’ll probably be slurring a bunch. Just you wait.

Are you scared about the labor?: Terrified.

Names!

Do you have a name picked out?: Sure do

Is your baby going to be named after someone?: Girl: After my great-grandma and my aunt; boy: after my brother or Robert.

Other random questions!

Where was your baby conceived?: In our bed? I think so.

Have you felt the baby move?: Not yet! But I am stoked to feel it for the first time.

Do you have stretch marks yet?: Prior to pregnancy, yes. But none from the pregnancy, yet.

What was your first symptom?: Absolutely terribly sore boobs and missed period. And my irritability. And my backaches, and my headaches.

Will your baby have godparents?: We haven’t really talked about it. Probably.

What is the baby’s room theme?: Neutral colors. Probably greens and yellows and browns.

What was the first thing you bought for the baby?: Nothing yet. Might be just a pacifier.

Will you use cloth diapers?: Not sure.

Breastfeeding or formula?: Husband wants me to bottle feed, I want to breast feed. We’re at odds. But we’ll decide when the baby arrives.

What is your favorite pregnancy book?: Don’t have one yet.

What do you look forward to doing again once you are no longer pregnant?: Eating what I want. This morning sickness has really gotten the best of me.

Is he ready to be a daddy?: Yes, most definitely.

Are you ready to be a mommy? I hope so!

6 weeks and 6 days.

Wed, 10 Oct 2012 22:29:09 -0700

So the last few days have been tough. This pregnancy has brought with it a lack of appetite. The only thing I can stomach is boxed dinners (think Hamburger Helper, Pasta Roni, Rice a Roni, etc). And in my effort to get healthy, I only purchased two boxed dinners. Both of which are now gone. So, I am stuck without any stomachable food and hunger pains accompanied by nausea at the thought of “real” food. But, right now I’m craving a leafy salad with avocado, boiled egg, cheese and ranch dressing. Unfortunately, I have no eggs, avocado, ranch or leafy salad greens. Therefore, I am fucked. Both literally and figuratively. And, I still have yet to go to the WIC Office, since the morning sickness keeps me in bed most of the day.

But, I do attempt to eat more than once a day, so don’t think of me as some sort of person who would starve their unborn child because of a little morning sickness/nausea. I try to eat crackers but even those make me feel rather disgusting. It’s puzzling and unfortunate but when I go to my first appointment (whenever that may be) I shall discuss my options with my doctor. Hopefully that appointment is sooner rather than later because at the moment, things are not looking well for me at all.

6 weeks and 4 days.

Mon, 08 Oct 2012 15:59:00 -0700

How far along? 6 weeks, 4 days.
Total weight gain: Not sure? Probably a pound or so. Maybe less?
Maternity clothes? Not yet!
Stretch marks? None yet! Hoping I won’t be getting too many. Fingers crossed.
Sleep: Tired a lot so I sleep a lot.
Best moment this week: Finding out we’re expecting!
Miss Anything? Being able to eat what I want without feeling yucky halfway through.
Movement: Nothing yet.
Food cravings: Peaches.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Everything it seems (chicken, pasta, crackers, sweets, etc).
Gender: N/A
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: Nausea, headaches, backaches, mood swings. Ugh. It’s tiring. But worth it!
Belly Button in or out? In.
Wedding rings on or off? On.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Excited/nervous/frightened/happy.
Looking forward to: First OB appointment and hearing/seeing baby’s heartbeat.

6 weeks and 2 days.

Sat, 06 Oct 2012 15:18:00 -0700

Here I am! Pregnant again! I am excited beyond words. It really stinks that I just lost my job and the same day found out I was pregnant, but what can you do? When it’s time, it’s time. And this is my time. I am very excited, very happy. I can’t wait to tell my family, even though I’ll be in my second trimester by then. I want to tell them face to face because it seems more appropriate than an email. And it will be easier for me because I’ll be able to look them in the eye and Robert will be there for me and we’ll tell them and they’ll see how happy we are. What I’m hoping for I probably won’t get but such is life. I’m excited and that’s all that should matter.

But you know, not the point. The point is that I am happy and healthy and baby is there and I’m just ecstatic! I can’t stop smiling! When I told my hubs I just cried and cried and cried. And he cried a little bit. I’ve already told four of my best friends and my sister in law. I’m telling my cousin on Tuesday or something like that and I’m just beyond excited. I can’t even being to describe my happiness! But you all know how happy I am. You know. I don’t have to tell you. Anyway, that’s it for now. I’ll post some more soon. You are all lovely. Thanks for reading.

xxx

It's official!!!

Sat, 06 Oct 2012 02:09:42 -0700

We just found out that I am six weeks pregnant!! I’ve been suspicious for a week or so but I took a test about two hours ago and it was positive! I am pregnant and I am so excited! I’ll fill you in more when I have access to the computer again (hubs has taken it over for now). I am soooo happy!!!

September 11, 2012

Tue, 11 Sep 2012 03:43:30 -0700

Today I found out that a friend from high school is pregnant. Again, I am baffled by the fact that I can’t seem to get pregnant to save my life and practically everyone around me is popping out children like a pack of baby factories. How is this even remotely fair? Why must I of all people endure such suffering? What have I done to deserve such disappointing results? I just want to be a mother so badly.

Long time.

Fri, 03 Aug 2012 17:51:19 -0700

Sorry I’ve been MIA. Things have gotten stressful and after yet another no-go on getting pregnant, my mind has just been all over the place. So, this is me saying that I will be posting more often and I will have something more interesting to say before too long. Thanks to those who actually care.

I'm confused as to when you're getting married, is it super soon? my crashing plans have been foiled!

Tue, 08 May 2012 04:20:03 -0700

We’re getting married in September. The 15th to be exact! You still have time! Would you like to receive a formal invitation?! Because I will send you one.

Day 15

Tue, 08 May 2012 04:06:56 -0700

I have been slacking on the posting. But my 3 followers won’t mind :P

Anyway, I’ve been doing a LOT of wedding planning lately. Picked out my dress, bridesmaids dresses, colors, tuxedos, hair style, make up, guest list, bridal party, blah blah blah. So much shit left to do. And so little time!

If you’ve never planned a wedding, you’re probably thinking something along the lines of “four months is so little time?” Yes, yes it is. In terms of how much shit you have to get done between then and now (send out invitations, finalize everything, pay for everything, work to pay for everything, have the dresses altered, write vows, plan the day of, plan the week of, plan the bachelor/ette parties, get everyone’s schedules to mesh, plan every single little detail, etc, etc etc etc), four months is no time at all.

So I’m in wedding overload right now and I’m pretty much okay with it. I just wish I had more money to buy the things I need to buy right now. Like my wedding dress. I still have to talk to my step parents about the reception/ceremony venue. Hopefully I can have it for the 15th and things will be fantastic. Ohhh, that would make my day.

And I have to think about what kinds of cupcakes we’re going to be serving at the wedding and what kind of frosting and if we’re going to have alcohol or not. And if we do have alcohol, how we’re going to make sure no one underage gets their sticky little hands on it. Because the last thing I need is drunk teeny boppers at my wedding. So, most likely no on the alcohol front.

And I have to decide whether or not I’m going to have flower girls/ring bearers. Probably not because that’s just something I don’t want to deal with.

Put together my wedding registry today. Talk about a great time! I loved going along and scanning all sorts of stuff I could never afford. Luckily for me, I’m getting married and people will spend outrageous amounts of money on the happy couple. So! Lots of shit I probably don’t need but I really really want. So much baking stuff went on the list. And really nice pots and pans. And some awesome plum-colored Fiesta Ware. Some ridiculous kitchen gadgets dreamed up by the one and only Martha Stewart. Thank you Macy’s, for creating such a wonderful Martha Stewart line of cooking shit for me to drool over.

Tomorrow I’m going with my bestie to add more stuff to the list and take off the stuff I don’t need or is too expensive. Such as the Ralph Lauren china. $80 a place setting? No thanks. It’s pretty, but not $80 a person pretty. I’m also babysitting tomorrow. Fun times. Now, to the good stuff!

So I’ve been having some symptoms of pregnancy the last week or so. I wake up and about two hours after I’m awake, I start to feel queasy and lightheaded, I can’t eat anything but pasta or McDonald’s (everything else makes me feel yucky). My back is killing me, I constantly have a headache, I feel dehydrated on a regular basis even though I chug water like no one’s business. I am exhausted all the time and I still haven’t had my period. Right about this week is when my period started last month. So, if I don’t have it in a couple weeks, I’m going to take another test (that’s right, I took a test. But it was negative. It’s probably too early to tell for sure). I’m irritable and cranky for no reason. And I’m ridiculously horny all the time. But, that might be from all the Avengers spam on my dash. I’ll probably never know.

I’m moving to California in a couple weeks so hopefully if this time I’m not pregnant, I can start working on it seriously. Because when I’m with my hubs, I am going to be all up on it. All day every day. Because I have missed him so very much and masturbation just isn’t the same as good, old fashioned sex.

Hope this post wasn’t too ridiculous and mumbo-jumboed for you. Tomorrow I’ll tell you about the fit my sister threw in the bridal shoppe in front of one of my bridesmaids, my mother and my wedding consultant. Mucho love, friends.

Day 6

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 22:06:00 -0700

Went home early from work today because I was dizzy, nauseated, had the worst headache I’ve had in ages and felt as if I was going to pass out. I got to my car, drove ten minutes and felt fine. Needless to say, I was irritated a bit. But then I went to David’s Bridal with my little sister and she tried on a few bridesmaid dresses (I found two that I like her in) and I started feeling dizzy again. It only lasted for a few minutes but was followed by nausea. So I sat down and watched my sister try on dresses. I love shopping for wedding stuff. Makes me feel like I’m doing something productive with my free time.

Anyway, I’m going back to David’s on Tuesday with one of my bridesmaids to pick out a dress for her and then Wednesday I try on dresses. Three of my bridesmaids are coming with me to try on dresses on Wednesday, so hopefully I’ll get some stuff done. I’ll get an idea of what I want them to wear. We’re going with five different colors and five different dresses. Or four different colors and five different dresses. I haven’t decided yet.

My wedding is peacock themed. You can view my Pinterest wedding board here. My bridesmaids board is here. And lastly, my wedding dress board is here. I am really excited to find new ideas for this wedding. And though I have yet to choose a venue, I’m pretty sure I have narrowed down the date. September 15ish. Around that time. We were originally going for October but I feel like that’s too late. September is a beautiful month (says the girl born on the 21st) and I want my wedding to be beautiful.

And this post isn’t making much sense. I’m exhausted. I think I’m going to sleep. Snuggle up with my puppies and sleep.

Day 2

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 22:28:08 -0700

Slept a lot today. Took my prenatal as soon as I woke up and ate some rice krispies. Sat around, waiting for Robert to call me. I think I was awake until five this morning and I slept until around 1:30. My work called and wanted to know if I could come in. I said no, that I wasn’t feeling good. Which was true when they called at 8:20. But that’s only because I’d only been in REM sleep for about 45 mins. Damn you, Macy’s. Damn you. I know I need the money and I should have gotten my ass out of bed and gone to work but by the time I’d gotten ready and gone in to work, the shift they wanted me to work would have been half over. Damn it, Macy’s! Why must you call me at such an ungodly hour of the morning and expect me to haul my lazy ass into town to work? Whyyyy?

But, that just goes to show that I’m a true lazy ass who would rather sit around in her room all day just perusing Tumblr and posting stupid shit instead of getting myself presentable and going to work and being a productive member of society. So, basically, I’m your average, run of the mill teenager, if you were to believe all the things my grandparents say about teenagers.

Friday, I get paid. And I’m going to see my best friend and we’re going to start a new wedding registry for me & Robert at Target and Macy’s. And maybe JC Penney. I haven’t decided whether or not I want to register there, too. I feel like maybe Macy’s & Target are enough because their both at different ends of the price spectrum. Macy’s has the higher-end merchandise ($700 for a set of pots & pans and $89 for a 5pc place setting of silverware) and Target has the funkier merchandise that is more reasonable. I love Target and I love Macy’s. If I could afford it, I’d have all my kitchen/dining room stuff from Macy’s and my towels, bedding, etc, from Target. I love them both so much.

Anyway, next week Avengers comes out here in the States and I am utterly excited. Kelli and I are going to the midnight showing. Now, since she hasn’t seen any of the movies leading up to The Avengers I am going to make sure she sees them all in one sitting. So we’re having a marathon sometime before next Thursday. And she’s excited. And then I’m going to introduce her to True Blood. Because she hasn’t watched that either. So I have a lot of work ahead of me. But, I’m okay with it. Because it involves superhero movies and Eric Northman.